The Life and Times of Uber Sports Fan Chick

I was driving around town the other day listening to Colin Cowherd’s show on ESPN when I heard something that, in the words of the old Pace picante commercial, really chapped my hide. Colin and his cronies were talking about their turn-offs when it comes to women, which I found somewhat interesting in the beginning. Jokingly, Cowherd listed fourteen cold sores and an eye patch as his deal breakers. Then one of the other guys piped up and said, “Uber Sports Fan Chick!” and Cowherd readily agreed.

Being an Uber Sports Fan Chick, especially when it comes to my Mavericks, I took instant offense. And the more I listened, the angrier I became. The men justified their annoyance with Uber Sports Fan Chick by stating that: 1) she overcompensates for being female by trying to act like she knows more than men do about sports (speaking from experience, sometimes she does); 2) the guys like women because they have curves and smell good and therefore should do more girly feminine things, not just be one of the guys; 3) and that, being men, their masculinity was, of course, not threatened in any way by a woman who knows her sports. (If you buy that, I have some ocean front property in Arizona I’d like to sell you!)

Colin went on to explain that he and his wife had “both settled” on her being an NFL and NBA fan, and that when she watched games with him, she would still “ask questions” rather than act like she knew everything that was going. He said she was a passionate Bulls fan, having grown up in Chicago, and a casual football fan, and they were both ok with that.

By the time I pulled into the parking lot at work, my blood was boiling, and if I had a little more time, I would have called the show and given Cowherd an earful. (This particular radio bit reminded me why I quit listening to his show awhile back; if I’m on “sports talk radio,” I wanna hear sports talk, not “Why I Hate Uber Sports Fan Chick” from a middle aged white dude!) But since I couldn’t, I decided to vent my frustrations here, in my own forum.

That being said, there are several things that I, Uber Sports Fan Chick, take issue with:

1. Why does Colin Cowherd have any say in what sports his wife likes? Why is it ok for her to be an NBA and NFL fan? What if she liked soccer and lacrosse too, would that be an issue?
2. Why, if a woman is watching sports alongside men, should she have to “ask questions” and feign ignorance, even if she is a fountain of knowledge on the sport?
3. If a man is truly not insecure, and his masculinity not threatened, why would he be annoyed by a woman who was educated about and took a passionate interest in one or more sports?
4. If a man can get a manicure or pedicure and still be considered manly, why can’t a woman paint her face, wear team colors, and scream at the refs from the sidelines? (They make pink jerseys for women nowadays, you know!)
5. It is possible for a woman to both be feminine and be Uber Sports Fan Chick. Just because she wears team colors on game days doesn’t mean she doesn’t dress up the other 200+ days a year. (I’ll be the first to admit, I am not a prime example of a feminine Uber Sports Fan Chick – I’m much more of a tomboy; I prefer jerseys and sneakers to skirts and heels any day of the week!)

Listening to Cowherd and cronies’ comments did get the little hamster wheel in my head spinning though, as I wondered if most men really feel the same way, but just don’t voice their opinions. Are men really threatened by Uber Sports Fan Chicks like me? In my mind, I always figured guys would think it cool and appreciate a woman who was into sports every bit as much as they were. Having always been “one of the guys,” that has pretty much been my experience. But perhaps when a man is looking for a woman to spend the rest of his life with, he doesn’t want one with the same interests. Maybe he just wants to keep the sports side of his life to himself; I am not a man, nor do I claim to be able to think like one.

But I am curious, guys: does it bother you when a woman is an Uber Sports Fan Chick? Does that assign her the “cool friend” tag and prevent her from ever being seen as anything more than that?

What do YOU think?